This particular one is dear to my heart….I probably chose to blog about this topic mostly because I am still in my BIRTHDAY MOOD (that’s allowed!). Anyway, I hope some of the thoughts shared will resonate with you and you may begin to alter your thoughts towards certain misconceptions or misjudgements.
I am confident for a FACT that it is mostly in AFRICA that people especially WOMEN are judged based on their physical sizes…I know what I MEAN by that. In Ghana, they ‘jokingly’ (forgetting about the harm caused to the victim) call a plus size person ‘OBOLO’ and oh I have had my own fair share of that…SMH (Shaking my head). I mean there have been so many stories of body shamming of women who are plus size…sometimes DIRECTLY other times INDIRECTLY. But I will just delve into one peculiar one.
About a month and some few weeks ago, a picture which broke the net or should I say went viral of a young man whose fiancée was plus size and he was trying to lift her..I mean that was the concept behind the photoshoot (at least from what the lady said from an interview). Firstly, this BECAME NEWS. Why? Because it is probably WEIRD for a young man who was SLIM or SLENDER to love a ‘FAT’ woman. Or OH! The ‘FAT’ lady DOES NOT deserve love. Another thing that upset me a bit was that the LADY was actually invited to a TV station (name withheld) for an interview where the questions being asked were a bit provocative. For instance, why would you ask someone you don’t know personally or aren’t friends with that ‘How much do you weigh?’ and I was like EXCUSE ME? Is she supposed to DIGNIFY such a ‘question’ with an answer? I don’t think so! And Oh, the lady replied with a bit of ‘pettiness’ saying ‘Over 100 and sexy!’ (In my mind I was like YOU GO GIRL!)..I mean I would have pulled up an Omawumi on the interviewer (For those who don’t know this story, a popular Nigerian singer known as Omawumi, earlier this year, walked out of an interview due to the tone of questions being posed to her….)
So back to the story, the MAIN reason I believe this should not have trended is because, first of all this man knows what he wanted that’s why out of all the SKINNY, SLENDER and SLIM girls, he STILL opted for a PLUS SIZE lady! Nobody should ask questions about that! I mean it is HIS entire BUSINESS. You see that is the PROBLEM…We live in a society where my PROBLEM becomes someone else’s to TRY to figure out or SOLVE. Like my Nigerians will say ‘why u wan take Panadol for another person headache?’ (Abi I tried with the pidgin sha!). Moreover, I liked this man in question’s intelligence and approach in answering questions when the interviewer put him on the phone. When the interviewer even joked that what will he do if he run away with the lady he jokingly told him not to even think about it…(Yass! Protecting what is RIGHTFULLY his). I genuinely wish BOTH of THEM all the BEST in their marital life.
One thing that excites me about should I say society’s concern about plus sized women is HEALTHWISE…that is actually good to know. But the last time I checked being skinny does not necessarily mean you are healthy and being ‘FAT’ (a rude way of referring to someone who is PLUS SIZE) does not also mean you have all the diseases on the planet earth in your body. You see, I know people who are skinny but take all sort of DRUGS due to many diseases they are trying to fight against while people who are plus size walk around freely. Lesson? Do not JUDGE a book by its cover. You do not know how that Lady you constantly refer to as plus size is doing to lose weight privately. Just because you don’t see or they did not ANNOUNCE probably on all SOCIAL MEDIA PLATFORMS does not mean they are just sitting there IDLE for you to leave all that you are doing to tell them what they should be doing with their own lifestyles. You just don’t know so save your sermons for yourself! (That’s if at some point you gain some weight).
Another interesting concern which I have personally been told by a family member is that ‘Guys nowadays DON’T like ladies who are PLUS SIZE. Wheew! What a bunch of ignorance or should I say LACK of KNOWLEDGE. No wonder the Bible says ‘For lack of knowledge, my people PERISH!’ Oh yes and some people may continue to PERISH UNTIL they seek KNOWLEDGE and UNDERSTANDING from the CORRECT SOURCE. You see, the problem is some people are so CONFIDENT even in their IGNORANCE. How can you talk for ALL men? Just because you prefer a SKINNY girl does not mean that is what ALL men on earth like. What survey made you arrive at such a HASTY and RIDICULOUS conclusion. Ever heard of the saying ‘One man’s meat is another man’s poison? Maybe this saying needs to be hammered into the ‘coconut’ (head) of some people. Besides, I just think about the fact that okay, so what if you marry a SKINNY girl and after two kids she becomes PLUS SIZE, do you start CHEATING on her OR DIVORCE her just because of her WEIGHT ? Am sure someone ought to have done some deep analysis before saying ‘I DO’.
In the midst of all this ‘Oh you need to lose weight to look good’ or ‘Hey, to fit into this clique you need to be slim’ bla bla bla, the right question that anyone who wants to LOSE WEIGHT should ask themselves should be ‘Why am I doing this in the first place?’ Because someone said it or because I GENUINELY want to shed some pounds. I am in no way bashing anybody losing weight, but the problem is with the WHY. Personally, I want to lose some weight to fit into most of my clothes again. I just can’t begin to imagine all the STRESS I have to go through to send them to my seamstress, the time I would have to wait for them and to top them ALL the money I would waste to do these when I could cut down on my LATE NIGHT EATING and other unhealthy things I do to shed off some pounds. Makes sense right? Before this, Oh I have been there..Should I say pressurized to register a gym to lose weight for a reason I do not KNOW. Because, it WASN’T ME, I lost motivation after few weeks and quit..JUST LIKE THAT. You see when you do it at your own WILL and preference it ISN’T HARD at all.
I have also been with the protein shakes and pills and teas and what have you. And I can conclude those businesses are booming especially these days that most people WANT to look a certain way especially with the INFLUENCE of social media or what have you. But amidst all these show of how your tummy will reduce drastically and how GOOD LOOKING you will become after taking in all those…take a minute to ponder about the potential consequences you were not told of (of course that will deter you from purchasing), the WHY, and if you are GENUINELY happy about it…then CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss or if you JUST started again KNOW THE WHY.
Just don’t be pressured to do all sorts just to FIT IN. That is not what you were born to do. At the end of the day when you are no more, You WON’T be remembered for how SKINNY or how ‘FAT’ you were or whatever, but it will be about the IMPACT your existence brought to others. Never FORGET that.
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